Me- “okay baby”.
I read her a couple books, brush her teeth, say our prayers and kiss her goodnight. It is around 7 pm. I head into the living room for a full 3 hours of television. Tevo is one of the best inventions of the current century. I am able to record all of my favorite shows, and then catch up on them when its convenient for me- not necessarily at 9 pm on Monday nights. I digress. So after Desperate Housewives, I do my nightly double-check on the girls. I go back into their rooms, make sure they are still breathing, kiss them- and make sure Britton still has on her diaper. Britton is fully potty trained during the day, but night time- not so much. Sometimes she will tip toe to her bathroom, take off her diaper, do her business then put her PJ bottoms back on. Only to pee in her bed a few hours later.
So I walk into our bedroom, look at my sweet girl, yes- she is still breathing, kiss her, and then that’s when I felt it. Warm, wet pee all over my 600 thread count, clean white sheets. I am sure you know what follows, Britton back to her bed (with a second diaper attached), sheets stripped, double rinse setting, scrub the mattress, blow it dry, remake my bed for the second time in two days, etc etc.
Sometime around 10:50- towards the end of ‘Brothers and Sisters’ Kenley wakes up from what must have been a nightmare. Get her settled, and I hear whimpering coming out of Britton’s room. She is upset that she is now back to her room.
Geez, here it comes.
Britton: “mommy, can I feep wid you? I get scared in my woom“.
Me: “What scares you in your room Britton“
Britton: (pauses, looks around her bedroom) “Noffing. I just like to feep wid you in your woom“.
Me: heart tug moment of weakness. “ok“
As she lays back down to bed for a second time tonight, she seems so sweet and alert. I often refer to the middle of the nights as her Awakenging moments (there was a movie about really old people who come alert at night- maybe it was Cocoon). Trying to get to the heart of things, I attempt to read what goes on inside her little mind. At any rate, our conversation went something along these lines.
Britton- (laying in bed on her back, both arms tucked behind her head looking at the ceiling, eye open.)
Me- Britton, what are you thinking about?
Britton – “Nuffin“
Me- “Please tell me”
Britton- “I wuf thinking about lipthick“
Britton- “You not a nafty mommy”
Me- “It makes mommy sad when you tell me to go away and call me a mean mommy”
Britton- (gets choked up, rubs the tears that almost immediately fall down her chubby cheeks) “Mommy, I won’t use that word anymore”
We hug, get under our blanket, and she lays her little arm across my neck.
I don’t care how much a queen size mattress costs. I would gladly buy a new one to have that moment back.
It was such a bitter sweet moment. Britton sad because she realized that her actions impact me. Of course I don’t want her upset, and I tell her that there is nothing she can say to me that will make me love her any less. I think it was just realizing that Britton just learned an important life lesson. One that she really got. Words can hurt people.
I learned one too tonight, laying on the freshly scrubbed, dry matress. Some moments really are priceless.