Run away Britotn

This should be quite good.

So today I woke up at 6:50 am so I could get a run in before the family awoke. I immediately went into my 5 year old’s bedroom so I could put her on the potty, in hopes that she had made it through the night in dry panties.

She had. Barely.

I then place her in my bed, next to Big Daddy. She asks if she can go “jogging” with me, and I explain that I run really fast (at least to 3 foot person) and she needs to go back to sleep for a few minutes because it’s early.

I leave Britton in our bed, laying next to her Daddy.

Earplugs in my ear blasting my ‘praise and worship’ playlist, I take off for a 25 minute jog in my gated neighborhood. I have some energy, enough to run up hill, and am enjoying the 70 degree non-humid weather which is unusual for north florida.

Once I arrive back I immediately notice that Britton isn’t in my bed. Nor is she in hers, the kitchen, closets, under chairs, or in any of the other typical hiding places.

The back yard door is locked, so she hasn’t gone out there.

The garage door is still shut- couldn’t have escaped via there.

The front door wasn’t locked when I left, but SURELY she wouldn’t walk out the front door.

I do a quick yell out- just in case, and peek around the front yard.

No Britton.

By now, I am getting a little worried and tell Big Daddy what is going on.

He too, is worried at this point. It’s been about 30 minutes since I returned from my walk and no Britton.

We both get dressed (I had taken a quick shower thinking she would reapper from her hiding place at any moment).

When we go outside to do another sweep of our yard, we see a random lady walk out of fenced in back yard.

She says, “is this your daughter?” and following her is Britton. Nightgown and crocs just walking cool as a cucumber,

Britton had wandered two streets behind us because “she wanted to see mommy jogging”!!

Fast forward 45 minutes….

I am toilet training Kenley. As I am on the phone for work, I notice that I have made a mistake at work and simotaneously smell poop.

I look at Kenley wadling out of my office with her dora panties, and a big wad of poop sagging in her panties.

Couldn’t have bothered her any less.

So I stand Kenley up on the toilet and try to pull off the poop infested panties.

I get them off somewhat successfully, only to miss when I toss them into the trashcan.

The dirty panties hit the vanity, and slowly slide down, poop side down!!

Are you kidding me??

Another 20 minutes later, I get calls from both Mary (our nanny) because she is locked out of the house– and was about to leave thinking I wasn’t hear.

Realized (which is a pretty normal feeling lately) to go to work, I tell Mary that I will be back after work. See ya!

Once I arrive at work I immediately get to have an uncomfortable conversation with my consultant who wants a raise, when we don’t have the money to give it to her. She threatens to quit. See ya!

From there I head to my lunch meeting, where that consultant it 28 minutes late! As if I have nothing better to do!

On my way home from work, I have yet another consultant call me wanting a $10,0000 raise after a few months of work. Are you kidding me?!

I am releaved to be back in my home, my nest egg. I cook a dinner that BOTH my children refuse to eat. Kenley normally eats anything. Great, what a waste!

As I am getting out packaged oatmeal (and drinking a beer at this point) I hear Kenley asking to get out of her chair, and there is a large puddle— no, POND of urine under her chair. It has seeped through all of my tile’s grout- like the sandcastle rivers we used to make as a kid.

No I get to clean up pee, at dinner time. Oh joy!

Britton had a melt down, which LUCKILY big Daddy handled.

I need to be armed with more scripture at a time like today!!… Maybe that one, “I can do anything through him who gives me strength”. Ya, now that it’s the end of the day I’ve figured it out.

Whew, it HAS to be better tomorrow!!!