confessions of a guilty mom

It is very quiet in our house tonight. The children are asleep, the tv is off, we are already in bed and my husband is reading- the only sound is our sound machine.

Mike is now reading ‘The Shack’. I asked him what part he was reading, and he read aloud to me a paragraph or two. As I lay in bed in my target nightgown, unwinding after a long day, I put myself in my children’s shoes and realized how much they must enjoy being read to each night. It is soothing, relaxing and helps your mind quiet out all the extra noises that seems to buzz about incessantly.

Screech! (can you hear it?!)

I immediately felt guilty.

Guilty for NOT reading them a bedtime story tonight.

Each child has asked me to read to them, separately, in their respective bedroom. I hustled them under the covers (30 minutes past their normal bedtime- my fault, not theirs) and said ‘maybe later’ knowing darn well I hoped they would fall asleep before I returned.

On Wednesdays, B gets up at 6:45 am, rushes to get ready for school, gets picked up at 3 where we rush to get our carpool crew and head to our church youth group. Mike rushes out of his office at 5:30 to pick B up from church, where they drive in rush-hour traffic home.

Once she arrives home, I rush her to the kitchen table where her dinner is waiting (now 6:30 pm). After we walk into the bathrooms for bath, where we rush to get bathed in time for bed.

Rush. Rush. Rush.

What is so important that my children have to feel rushed all day?

Beginning tomorrow, I am going to make a conscious effort not to rush them so much. I have been better about waking B up 15 minutes earlier each morning so she has more time to wake up.

Now I am going to take it one step further and try to get my tone, actions and attitude to leave the rush-ing-ness behind. I know that these “little children” are important.

They will both get lots of bed time stories tomorrow!

13Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them.
14Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” 15When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.
-Matthew 19:13-15

As a side note: I did make Valentine Cookies tonight with B and K- I will close my eyes tonight without letting my guilt keep me up for much longer!