I am missing my black & white referee jersey.

Has anyone seen it? Apparently I am an umpire in this game I call my life.  The bickering begins when my children awake- pauses during school when they go to their respective grades- then resumes at 3 pm and continues into the evening.

Have I spoiled them beyond spoiled? Did I cater too much to their cries as babies? Do they not know that, like a high pitched animal whistle, their squeaky voices irk me to no end?

Please my sweet children, I beg of you… HUSH!