Sometimes in a work setting, a boss will call you into his office and say something like – “Garrett, we like what you are doing here but your job here is changing some- you are going to keep your same job title, but the responsibilites will shift a bit. Just wanted to make you aware of the pending changes.”
Well, that doesn’t happen in the mom-world.
One of the things I am starting to see recently, is how my role as a Mom changes, as my children start to grow. When my girls were babies, it was about feeding them, changing diapers, deceiphering a runny nose from an ear ache, making sure each and every need was met by me.
In the preschool years, it seemed to be more about instilling right from wrong, laying out clothes, happily singing ‘The Wheels on the Bus..’ and teaching them how to be more self sufficient.
In the midst of grade school, I now see that my oldest daughter has her own mind, own ideas and her own visions. While my previous roles and responsibilities are still at play, it is now more a role of encouraging her, stepping back a hair for a little more overseeing and less hands-on, and steering more than flat out directing. She doesn’t want me lay out her clothes, much less choose clothes without her input. She tried on a pair of jeans tonight that we purchased, together, from OldNavy.com and looked in the mirror and told me they made her look fat. Fat!? You’re 60 pounds child. But that’s a post for another night. My point is, this mom-of-an-older-child-thing is new territory for me, but one I need to get used to- particulary with two more following suit. I’ll make adjustments, tweak my skills and try to keep up.
The days of big grosgrain hair bows, hand-sewn ruffled pants and bright twirly skirts, are now but a distant memory for my first born. Today, it’s more jean shorts, printed tees, and ponytails- no ribbon and definitely no hair bows.
I was going over our back to school shopping list in my head today, while at the gym. And it just hit me- that while its frustrating that she only wants to wear ‘I love Justin Beieber’ graphic tees and jean shorts now, it is not so much about the clothes, as it is learning to adjust and tweak my role as her Mom as she continues to grow and become her own person. She will always need me. Maybe not to match her hair bow to her Just Ducky dress anymore, but to teach her lessons like ‘turn the other cheek’, and ‘there will always be kids that have more than you do, and there will always be kids that have less than you do’ and ‘make decisions that make God happy.’
I’m working on it.