Clinic Groupie

“I cannot go to school today”
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.

“I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry.
I’m going blind in my right eye.

My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I’ve counted sixteen chicken pox.
And there’s one more – that’s seventeen,
And don’t you think my face looks green?

My leg is cut, my eyes are blue,
It might be the instamatic flu.
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button’s caving in.
My toes are cold, my toes are numb,
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow’s bent, my spine ain’t straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There’s a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is …
What? What’s that? What’s that you say?
You say today is ………….. Saturday?
G’bye, I’m going out to play!”
-Shel Silverstein
Britton is a frequent flyer of the school clinic. It is a known fact amongst her old school, and already a known fact at her new school. Even on the first day, she arrived with “blood in her stools”- or so she said.

A couple of weeks ago, the nurse reached Mr. R and he talked to Britton who was complaining of a stomach ache.
Yesterday, the nurse called, because Britton said that her “privates hurt” when she urinated. Weighing the options of telling her to suck it up and go back to class, or pick her up in the event she actually is sick {or has an UTI}- I opted to pick her up from the clinic yesterday.
Let’s just say my girl wanted a day home with her Mommy- when she asked me to turn on the radio- I knew I had caved- but frankly, didn’t care. We all need a “personal” day every now and then, so B chose to use hers yesterday. That’s not to say that I didn’t make her lay on her bed for a couple of hours – no electronics whatsoever, only for her to actually fall asleep briefly.
I had the big parent talk of.. you-have-to-go-to-school and we can plan fun dates for just us on the weekends.
When I asked her if she was really sick, or if she just wanted to spend time with me before the baby comes, she confessed that it was “45% because I wanted to spend time with you Mama”.
So, with 55% of her ready to head back to school this morning- I thought we would have put this behind us.
Mr. R even reminded her of the story of child that cried wolf….
Oh no, she woke up complaining that her stomach hurt… when she realized that Tums and yogurt should help, she then thought she might have head lice. Then she asked me to take her temperature… and finally, it was a sore neck– meningitis maybe?
Well, our girl in now in school sitting at her desk in her bedazzled jean shorts, probably looking at a medical dictionary to plot the next approach to busting outta school so we can hang out.
Until then… stay healthy.