Mean Girls

I thought I had until at least middle school until having to worry about mean girls. Middle school- the dreaded years. Unfortunately, it now starts much earlier than the sixth grade.
There is a girl in Britton’s class, I’ll call her “Dana” that is constantly mean to Britton. I thought it would blow over or she would move on to the next child to peck, but Britton seems to be her target of choice lately.
I’m really at a loss as to what to do. Britton is a sweet, younger than most (July birthday), imaginative child. No, she is not perfect and can be quite a handful of spitfire at home, but she has a good heart and has always gotten along well with her peers.
Eight is  the age where she wants to fit in with her peers- she asks me to shop at the same store “Justice” (too far), ride in the front seat (against the law), and even pack the same lunch box foods as her peers (bright green jello- seriously?).
Every child will probably go through this at some point- and I guess what bothers me the most is that she doesn’t complain to me about. Rather, she just tells me in an it-happened-like-this kind of way.
Here is a perfect example, today was class picture day. Britton spent 45 minutes this morning primping (usually I have a hard time getting her to brush her hair). She picked out her ruffled skort, pink horse BFF t-shirt, argyle socks last night. When I went into her bedroom this morning, I found a “Hairstyle How To” guide lying on her floor next to her hair brush. B even picked out a pearl headband to wear, and we all know she don’t do that anymore!  She asked if she could put on clear lip balm, and some sparkly lotion as well.  So much time was spent primping, that the Fashionista had to eat her breakfast in the car (a first).
Feeling good about yourself is important, especially for girls, no matter what age you are. And by golly, it was picture day and I wanted her to feel good about herself. And so, with a little bit of bedazzle on her cheekbones and some faux diamond earrings, she did.
Then this little “Dana” person told her she looked like a silly dressed like girly-girl and made fun of her outfit in front of the other girls. I could strangle her. 
Always telling Briton that she cannot play whatever silly game they play on the playground, because of Britton wants to be a “cat” and they don’t like cats. Or whatever the reason may be. She tries to be the ring leader of what really is a sweet group of girls.
I’ve tried explaining to my daughter, that the only reason people say mean things about other people, is because they feel bad about themselves. Saying something nasty about someone else, in an attempt to make them feel better about themselves. I told Britton we should feel sorry for this girl, and even went so far as to tell B to pray for her.
But her middle-school-clique behavior has continued, and now Mama bear is pissed.
This phase of parenting is new to me, and I really don’t know how to handle the situation.  I work so hard to instill confidence in my daughters and I’ll be darned if some little shit girl is going to take that away from her at age eight.
I’m sure, like any phase of parenting,  I will figure this one out. I just need to cool down first and glue my heart back together.

Lovely comments

  1. 2' says

    How sad…little girls really can be so nasty. When i was teaching my jaw would drop at some of the mean things these little girls wouldd say to eachother. Makes you wonder where they are coming from. I would step in if i were you. Go to the source…the parents. Good luck

  2. 3' says

    Oh, girl – I’m p-o’ed for you. My heart is breaking for sweet B! I am absolutely dreading those days but feel like they are right around the corner. I recently got a knot in my throat when Regan told me that one of her (3 year old) classmates told her to go away on the playground. The other day we were at the park and two little 5 or 6 year olds were yelling “Baby!” at Regan and running away because she told me she wanted to swing near them. My head was spinning looking for their mothers and wanting to step in! Fortunately, I don’t think she really understands yet that she’s being pushed away in times like that, but I want to do everything I can to protect her from that realization.