There is a lot of work that goes into making a movie. More time, goes into architecting a new high rise in the city. The behind the scenes work, often times, goes unnoticed by many. All that most people see is the 40 story tall, reaches for the sky, shiny building- the finished product.
This week I feel like I have been doing a lot of behind the scenes work, particularly for my oldest child. She leaves for her first spend-the-night church camp on Monday. Additionally, I am leaving town tomorrow, solo, for a much need high school girls trip.
This means that much had to get done this week– clothes labeling, camp pack list check offs, care package items, and bug spray lotions (not sprays) purchased, begin mailing letters so one would arrive on her first day. When I say it had to be completed this week, I really mean by today- along with the preparations for me leaving town (meals planned out, pantry stocked, children’s clothes laid out, baby’s schedule typed up), in all fairness, so that Mama could take a break this weekend.
I’ve spent countless hours preparing– ensuring the camp has her medical records, sending payments, registering online so I can email her (my how times have changed!), finding
crap treasures for her care packages, driving her to and from this week’s day camp, driving her to and from swim team practice, making breakfasts, dishing out snacks, doing all the laundry before I leave, making sure bug spray and brushed teeth go out the door. All worthwhile but exhausting. Not to mention the other two children and husband that have a multitude of daily needs as well.
Tonight, Britton and Kenley set up a “Mom Spa” for me in their bathroom. Britton really wanted to give me a ‘spa’ pedicure- I guess she is still feeling her birthday vibe. But, it would make us late for swim practice, Raynes still needed a bath, and I had not had eaten in hours, so I told her, “Not tonight.” She was upset, briefly, and I wondered if she knew of all the behind the scenes work I have done these past few days, or will she only remember that I was too busy to play?
Where does the balance lie?
I don’t want to throw it in her face, do you have any idea what all I have done for you today because these are all things that I want to do. But am I just cutting off my nose to spite my face? Running around like a crazy woman when all she wants is to give me a dang pedicure? Will she know when she receives her care packages next week, that I had the forethought, time and love for these small, yet-meaningful-to-a-9 year-old, gestures? Or will it take another twenty years, when she is a mom herself, for her to understand the depths of a mom’s love and the extent of her work?