Mother’s Instinct

This is day 29 of a 31 days series on finding Joy Simply. You can read all the posts, starting with Day 1, by clicking HERE.

I feel like I am in one of my hard aerobics classes- feeling much longer than 60 minutes I am ready to call it quits, walk out and return to my day, a sweaty mess. But alas, it’s a 31 days series and dang it, I’m going to finish it.

While I don’t have a pretty corresponding photo, one of the things that has started to bring me joy in my old age is my mother’s instinct. Not just having it, but learning to trust it.  When Britton was born, being the first time Mom that I was, I was unsure when I should speak up, when to hold my tongue. When to push, when to pull. When I should worry, when I should let it pass. I must have called the pediatrician about every runny nose, met with the teacher after every ‘we had a bad day’ note I found in her back pack, and spent way too much on her precious, smocked, original clothing.

One of the things that I learned, and am still learning, is that if I just shut my mouth, stop asking everyone else what they think, and listen to that little voice in me, I’ll know what to do.

Specifically, I can remember taking a 3 day old Britton to the lab for blood work for her Jaundice. I was sore, tired, large, hot {it was July} and frazzled.  This was at the old TCH {which incidentally was torn day 10 days after her birth)}. The tech pricked little Britton’s heel, accidentally dropped the tube on the dirty floor, then proceeded to hold the nasty tube up to her bloody heel. 

When we walked out of there my Mom looked at me and asked, ‘Did you just see what I saw?’ in disbelief.

I should have spoken up I scolded myself.

What I took away from that somewhat insignificant event is to speak up for my children whenever I get that feeling in my gut that something isn’t right.

A couple years later, although probably not much wiser, I am given a beautiful baby with a serious health problem. When I am told that she is ‘fine’ and ‘you have nothing to worry about’ I ignore them. Experts or not, when a Mama has an instinct 99.9% of the time she is right. This time, I say something along the lines of “I appreciate what you are saying, I hear what you are saying, but I want her checked again.”

And you know what- my instincts were spot on.  With Raynes, baby number three, I am more relaxed than I was that hot July morning in 2003. For the most part, not always, I know when to speak up, when to hush up and that it is okay to go with my instincts. They rarely lead me astray.