Yet another post I found in my drafts… this one from last Spring.
Being the kind of gal that likes order, routine and dare I say perfection (cringe, I know) isn’t always a bad thing. My house tends to stay in order, lengthy to-do lists are typically completed, but perfection… that’s never going to happen and can make me feel like a hamster running on those large silver spinning wheel most days.
Never the less, I jump on that wheel each day and begin jogging. What’s the definition of insanity?
In my endless quest for order, routine and perfection I heard the dreaded words from my oldest child this week. “Why are you always pointing out the negative?”
Ouch. With two daughters, particularly at their age, this is a slippery slope.
Our children are often the closest reflection of ourselves, good or bad, and that didn’t feel so good. I don’t want to be the mom that points out flaws, always spotting the one weed among the many beautiful flowers.
The girls have daily chores (morning and afternoon) and Britton had forgotten to feed the dog that morning. When she came home from school I told her she couldn’t have any computer time because she hadn’t completed her all of morning chores before she left for school (wouldn’t you be hungry if you hadn’t eaten in 24 hours?). She looked at me, my Cancer-sign child, straight in the eye and said, “you don’t say anything about all the chores I did do today, instead you point out the one I didn’t do. Why are you always pointing out the negative?”
Do I do that?
It’s a balancing act: Teaching my children the importance of responsibility while trying to keep their self-esteem intact.
Maybe I am too strict. Maybe I am not strict enough.
I’m not sure where the answer lies but I do know that I don’t want to be ‘that mom’- you know, the one who always finds something to critique- grades (why did you get all A’s and one B), outfit (those shorts are too short for school) but I also want them to one day show up to their jobs on time, perform their work well, and take the initiative.
Bringing up confident and responsible children without breaking their spirit is the goal. So maybe there are days when beds go unmade and hair hasn’t been brushed, and this Type A Mama can learn to live with that too. Because when you look at the flowers there’s no point in always focusing on that one little, teeny, tiny weed.