I blame it on my great grandparents. They were Italian. Could that be where I get my lack of patience at times? (I’m only kidding- my mom has always joked that when we finally loose our cool- it’s because I’m “1/8″ Italian) Wanting to say exactly what I’m thinking, exactly when I’m thinking it.
Angry? Why hide it. Work through it now.
Mad? Vent about it.
Unjust? Call them out on it.
Someone has done me wrong? Hold a grudge.
Why is that person so darn rude? I’ll show them- I’ll be rude back.
These are my natural impulses. My ordinary impulses.
Feelings are a hard thing to control at times. Very hard. Ask any preschool teacher and I’m sure she would agree.
Sometimes I feel like I make the right the decisions, know the best answer- perhaps having gained a little bit of wisdom over the past few decades. But as soon as I feel that someone, for example, has treated me unjust? Man, my blood starts to boil and I can’t help but call my mom, my sister, my friend and say, “Can you believe what so and so did to me today?!” I’m gonna_____ fill in the blank. My emotions take over and I let ‘em lead.
It’s not pretty to admit but it’s the truth. Growing pains…. adults can get them too.
But is emotion that the best way to handle situations? Is that what I would want to teach my children?
I want to be make disciplined choices. These are sometimes harder, but learning to let something go, turn the other check, or return an insult with a compliment, will not come with the price tag of regret. And that’s a price I don’t care to pay.
Because, like my mom always told me, you never know what someone else is going through. They may have trouble with a child, an aging parent, financial difficulties, unhappy in their job, or worse- unhappy in their marriage. Until I can walk in someone else’s shoes, I need to strengthen my mind by choosing to step back, react how God would want me to react- and maybe even kill ‘em with a little kindness just because.
Learning to do the right thing instead of the feels-right-this-moment thing.
This is how I’ll learn, how I’ll grow and how I’ll ultimately become the person God wants me to be.